The U.S. Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) defines domestic violence as a "pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner."

Domestic violence encompasses any behavior to control and coerce and includes physical violence, emotional and psychological abuse, intimidation, financial abuse, and sexual violence. The abuse can occur between intimate partners (married or unmarried), and spread to include the family.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, reports that one in every four women will experience some form of abuse in her lifetime.

"The people who come to The Women's Center form just a third of those who suffer," says Camille Doris, executive director, of the Center. "Domestic abuse, unlike other crimes, is silent. Unfortunately, not a day goes by, when a women isn't abused."

The impact is serious and far reaching. It spills over into America's playgrounds, where children going to school, mirror and mimic behaviors they see at home, turning into bullies-in-training and possible future abusers themselves. More often than not children are victims, affected by family violence, which spares no one.

"Family violence includes child abuse, elder abuse, and other violent acts between family members," Doris says, "In the area of elder abuse, there is a lot of neglect and financial abuse involved."

Pet abuse is highly correlated with domestic violence. "We get calls from those who are afraid to leave their homes because of what their partners might do to their pets," Doris says. "In such cases, we work with three area veterinarians and some families and make arrangements for the pet's safety."

Victims often seek immediate safety, since they are not safe in their homes anymore.

The Women's Center

The Women's Center of Carbondale provides free and comprehensive services to survivors (women, men, adolescents, and children) of domestic violence and sexual assault; in addition to offering secure shelter for women and families hiding from abusers. According to Doris, in fiscal year 2006, the Center assisted 1,162 women and children with domestic violence and sexual assault services; provided 6,027 nights of safe shelter and answered 15,138 crisis hotline calls.

The center recently celebrated 35 years of existence and is in the midst of a remodeling project that aims to increase residential capacity and provide more space for program services.

"We want to ensure we are here for a long time and provide a better quality of life for our residents," Doris says.

You can make a difference

There are tons of misconceptions out there. That domestic violence affects only a certain group of people. That it's easy to get out of an abusive relationship. That victims continue to stay in a cycle of domestic violence forever. Nothing could be further from the truth.

"Batterers can come from all backgrounds," Doris says. "Most victims want it to end, but are afraid of seeking help. Domestic violence is a societal problem and needs community involvement - people helping people - in order to make a difference in a victim's life."

So ask your friend if she is okay. Read up on how to recognize the signs of domestic violence. Volunteer and participate in programs and events that help victims of domestic violence. And make sure you go to the right places for help, if you or a friend or family member are in need of assistance.

Getting help

If you are a victim of domestic violence, there are several places you can go to for help:

* The Women's Center, Helpline: 1-800-334-2094 / 618-529-2324 / www.thewomensctr.org

* The Anna Bixby's Women's Center, Harrisburg, 618-252-8389

* The Cairo Women's Center, Inc., Cairo, 618-734-4357

* PAVE, Centralia, 1-800-924-844

* Domestic violence support group: A community support group for women and children affected by domestic violence in Southern Illinois. Meets on Tuesdays from 6 to 8 p.m. For meeting location and more details, contact staff Jackie Walk at 618-529-2324 ext. 233 or Jennifer Williams at 618-529-2324 ext. 240.

* Illinois Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-877-TO-END-DV

* The National Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

* The National Sexual Assault Helpline:1-800-656-HOPE

* Visit the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence website at www.ncadv.org/resources/StateCoalitionList_73.html to find shelters and support in your state.

* The Illinois Crime Victims Compensation Program provides innocent victims and their families up to $27,000 of financial assistance for expenses incurred as a result of a violent crime. Domestic violence is categorized as a violent crime and has to be reported within 72 hours, within seven days for sexual offenses, or in a timely manner under the circumstances. For more information about compensation and other statewide victim services, contact Crime Victims Assistance at 1-800-228-3368.

Physical dating violence

There are high levels of dating violence prevalent today and the affected include girls and boys in high schools, junior high, colleges and universities. Children as young as 12-13 are physically and emotionally coerced into performing sexual acts. The long term needs of those coming out of dating violence include economic, children's issues, health issues.

According to research presented at the American Public Health Association's 135th annual meeting in Washington, DC, physical dating violence (PDV) affects almost one in every 11 adolescents.

Contrary to common general perception, males and females equally report being victims of PDV. Researchers studied 6,951 male and 6,807 female students in grades 9 through 12. Nine percent of boys and 9.2 percent of girls responded yes to the question "during the past 12 months, did your boyfriend or girlfriend ever hit, slap, or physically hurt you on purpose."

For both male and female adolescents, current sexual activity, alcohol use, physical fighting, sexual victimization and suicidal thoughts were significant predictors of PDV. Poor body image was a significant predictor of PDV in females but not in males, whereas illicit drug use was a significant predictor in males, but not in females.

"It is imperative that counselors and care providers are aware of the gender differences in the predictors of physical dating violence in adolescents," the researchers said. "Knowing these differences will alert them to pay particular attention to female adolescents with poor body image and male adolescents using illicit drugs."

Experts say that improvements with the legal aspects and laws governing dating violence are the urgent need of the day. Law enforcement, social service agencies, healthcare professionals, friends, neighbors, clergy, and family members need to band together and fight this societal menace.