WEST FRANKFORT - Sitting on the side of a bed in a small, cramped motel room, Kim Stubblefield, by her own admission, is a person who has run out of options and is quickly running out of hope.

The list of obstacles in Stubblefield's immediate path is monumental by any set of standards. Stubblefield is unemployed, uninsured and except for the recent help of Crosswalk Community Action Agency, which picked up the one-month tab for her motel, she's also homeless.

And if those things combined don't add up to enough misery for one life, Stubblefield is battling cancer and stands in desperate need of specialized medical attention.

A former high school cheerleader who worked nearly two decades at Union Hospital filing medical records, Stubblefield, 49, is that one person who somehow manages to fall through society's cracks and safety nets and ends up clinging to a will to live and nothing else.

During an often emotional interview Tuesday, Stubblefield struggled to speak between tears and with the aid of a mechanical device she holds against her throat - a device she has been forced to use since she had her larynx removed after she was diagnosed with throat cancer five years ago.

"I just want to live, that's all," Stubblefield said. "But, I've reached a place where I don't have any place to turn … there are no options left for me."

Stubblefield painted a picture of a life that for many years seemed to be on course - marriage, job, family and health - but then quickly spiraled out of control when she was divorced in 1997 and then diagnosed with throat cancer in 2000. Stubblefield attempted to return to work at the hospital but was unable to keep up with the rigors of the job and went on sick leave again. After three months her health insurance was terminated.

After the dire cancer diagnosis, Stubblefield was involved in a car wreck where she sustained a head injury that caused her to have seizures, limiting her ability to do even menial tasks. One seizure caused her to fall out of a chair, striking her head on a cabinet. A few months ago, Stubblefield had a mild stroke and is still suffering some slight paralysis in her left arm and leg.

After trying and then failing to return to work at the hospital, Stubblefield sought help through Social Security and was turned down for disability - the first of three times during the past four years that she has applied only to be rejected. She has also been denied help through the Department of Public Aid and also was denied Medicaid.

"I've always worked, always contributed to what I would call the 'system,'" Stubblefield said. "But, I don't understand how I can just keep getting turned down and keep getting turned down over and over again. All I'm trying to do is stay alive, so it goes far beyond frustrating. I just don't understand how the system works."

Jo Linton of West Frankfort befriended Stubblefield a few weeks ago and has been trying to run interference and secure medical and financial assistance.

"One of the saddest aspects of this story is that she is such a proud person and the thought of getting charity just horrifies her because she has worked all her life," Linton said. "I've heard of instances where people have died while waiting and waiting for disability, but I really think the way this is going that I've met somebody that this might really happen."

Despite the countless times that Stubblefield has been turned down and denied help, Linton had nothing but positive comments for the agencies involved.

"Everybody is trying. I don't see any bad people in this," Linton said. "I see laws and regulations and you can't ask these people who work for the government to break the law. It's the system; the system is broken when something like this can happen."

Stubblefield said the fact that she was fiercely independent prior to her medical problems makes her dependence now on others even more frustrating.

"I've always worked and tried to take care of myself and I even tried to go back to work but I just couldn't do it," Stubblefield said. "I don't know what to do these days though. I have no place to live, no money, no insurance and I'm sick. I'm washing my clothes in the shower. I keep hoping and praying that somebody will help me, but I think I'm running out of time."

Linton said she saw it as a "virtual death sentence" when Stubblefield was told by medical personnel that she could not be treated any longer because she had no insurance or means to pay for her cancer treatment. Stubblefield needs another surgery on her throat and has enlarged lymph nodes that need immediate attention.

"When you stop and think about it, this could happen to anybody and so far nobody has been able to kick through this wall to get her any help," Linton said. "Kim is a good person and has always been a productive person but she could very well die waiting for help. It's sad that in a country this great somebody really can die from red tape. If Kim dies before she can get help they should put on her death certificate, 'died from red tape.'"

Linton said she has also sought the help of both state and federal legislators in her attempts to get help for Stubblefield. Several agencies also were contacted concerning Stubblefield's plight but declined to comment, citing patient-client confidentiality.

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