Almost a quarter of a century ago, when Steven St. Julian left San Francisco to come back home to Southern Illinois, it wasn't to become a powerful voice and compassionate warrior in the stigmatic war against HIV and AIDS.

He came home to die.

"I was diagnosed through the absolute horrible, early days of this epidemic when there was no effective medication, when it was truly a death sentence," St. Julian of Makanda said. "I left that sentence and came home to where I'm from. I came here in preparation to die in the early '90s. I wanted to die around my family.

"I took care of many people in the last stages of their lives and everyone I cared about was dead. When I took care of my last person, I came home to deal with my own future. I felt like my voice was not needed there in San Francisco. We had so many wonderful advocates there."

St. Julian was diagnosed with then little-known HIV in 1987, although doctors said he contracted the disease at least five years prior. It was a pivotal moment that would influence all of his days - perhaps most of all today.

Longtime advocate St. Julian is being honored today in Springfield by the AIDS Foundation of Chicago with the prestigious Mary Dixon AIDS Advocacy Award.

St. Julian is coordinator for the HIV Prevention, Outreach and Adherence program for the Southern Illinois HIV Consortium, a Jackson County-based effort that serves the lower 17 counties of Illinois.

The responsibilities are many, but the primary responsibility is working with those diagnosed with HIV and AIDS in any way possible.

When a person is diagnosed with HIV or AIDS, St. Julian is called to the hospital to meet with them and their family to offer perspective on the startling news.

"They call me when there's a diagnosis so I can be the first one that person in the panic mode sees and chase that panic away," St. Julian said. "By me sharing with them my own story of being positive - I look old and fat and bald, but I don't look sick, and that universally surprises them."

St. Julian counts himself lucky to be alive, and said he enjoys being able to work with between 150 and 160 clients annually. To say that the honor bestowed by the AIDS Foundation was a surprise is an understatement.

"I am truly touched," St. Julian said. "I'm trying not to think about getting this award. It's very surprising to me. I don't feel that I do anything that outstanding. I have a big mouth, and when I have an issue I'm concerned about, I'm very determined about it."

That determination is what inspired the foundation to choose St. Julian for the award named after the legislative director of the Illinois chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union.

"Steven's longtime commitment to the cause really stood out," said Allison Solomon, communications manager for the AIDS Foundation of Chicago. "He's been an advocate since the mid-1990s when he started working with the HIV community.

"He's all over the map in terms of how he's chosen to contribute, so his bio stood out among the others in the field."

St. Julian has not only found his voice: He has discovered that positive change is effected when he lets it ring out loud and clear.

"Years later, I who thought I had no voice am getting an award for being an advocate," St. Julian said. "That is because of the opportunities here when I came to a place where there was no voice. I had the opportunity for the health department, where I started as a volunteer.

"That led to statewide advocacy and committees. I serve as an example of someone who thought they had no voice who has actually found one."

ashley.wiehle@thesouthern.com

997-3356 ext. 5807