Editor's Note: The author of this story is a first degree, or entry-level, member of the Ancient Free and Accepted Masons organization.

THE SOUTHERN

Theresa Miller recalls paging one of her kids to the office for discipline, almost angry because he should have known better.

She remembers the "I'm in trouble again" look on his face, but before one disciplinary word could escape her lips, Miller looked at the young boy and said, "You don't need a lecture; you just need a hug."

She walked around her desk, wrapped her arms around him and he began to cry. When his emotions calmed enough to speak, the boy told her, "I don't know what I'm going to do."

While not a daily scenario, it's one Miller has experienced several times in the past four years. She's not a principal, though she often plays the role of one.

Miller serves as the associate director of the Illinois Masonic Children's Home in Murphysboro, which has provided a stable home and care for more than 75 kids since opening its doors in January 2004.

"It's those moments that keep me hanging on. When you're like, 'You know, we are making a difference here,'" Miller said.

Sleepover with rules

The outside of the three cottages appear the same - designed with identical architectural style - but upon entering the three foyers, visitors encounter worlds of difference.

The decorations, atmosphere and energy levels of each eight-person residence radiate a distinct message and style dependent on the age and gender of residents. Each cottage appears clean and maintained, and residents learn to respect guests.

Children learn "important life lessons" while enjoying the comforts of a loving environment, something Miller said many of them have lacked in their lives. Residents of the children's home range in age from 4 years old to high school seniors.

Using this term "children's home" can carry negative connotations and cause people to think of an orphanage, which differs greatly from the Masonic home, Miller said.

Ashley Cunning, a freshman at Southern Illinois University Carbondale, spent four years at the Murphysboro home's sister campus in La Grange, near Chicago. She described life at the home as "a big sleepover with more rules."

"It's not an orphanage like people think," she said.

Referring residents

Operating as a voluntary placement facility, the home accepts children "for whatever reason the parents are unable to take care of them" but does not obtain legal guardianship, Miller said.

November Davison, assistant case manager, said residents could have parents dealing with severe medical issues, who are incarcerated or otherwise unable to care for the child, among countless other scenarios.

Many residents are "those kids that would generally fall through the cracks of (the Department of Children and Family Services)," she said.

Children referred to Davison or other case managers by parents, social service agencies or schools are invited for a weekend visit to the facility to determine if they are a positive match for the home. Ensuring a good fit is essential because constantly moving kids in and out of the home can become a hindrance and a distraction, Miller said.

Davis said dealing with families demonstrates a key difference between the children's home and foster care. The home will accept siblings and keep them together, while they may be separated in foster care, she said.

Once a child moves into the home, Illinois Masons will begin paying for all their essentials - food, schooling and medical expenses, among other costs.

Richard Swaney, deputy grand master for the Ancient Free and Accepted Masons Grand Lodge of Illinois, said the organization's members donate about $860,000 annually, representing a significant portion of the home's donation-based funding. The Masons are an international charitable organization dedicated to community service.

Not much surprise

Day-to-day life at the home remains "predictable" and without many surprises, Miller said.

Residents all enroll in the Murphysboro school system and are encouraged to participate in extracurricular activities and sports, she said. While living in the La Grange Home, Cunning said she participated on the school's step team, and Murphysboro residents play on the school's basketball team.

After school comes a one-hour study period, which can be modified based on the child's age and developmental level, Miller said.

Life can't be all work and no play, so after study hour, residents have free time until group dinner at 5:30 p.m. After dinner come chores, where all residents contribute by completing age-appropriate chores before bed.

Cabin managers supervise the daily life of the home's 24 residents and ensure they are prepared for the day and completely finish their chores and daily tasks.

A normal life

Kids in the home experience the same perks of teenage life as their peers.

They earn an allowance, get their licenses when they turn 16 and are required to join the workforce at the same age. Many of the home's residents work at one of Murphysboro's fast food restaurants or stores.

The residents who have lived there for a while have amassed an assortment of electronics, gadgets and toys through saving money, birthdays and holidays.

They're allowed to have friends stay the night and to have overnight visits elsewhere in the community. The girls chit chat about their boyfriends, while the boys focus on sports - high school as usual, Miller said.

After graduating high school, residents can still rely on support and assistance from the Masons and their peers. Cunning hopes to spend time working with the Murphysboro residents, helping them in any way she can.

Illinois Masons will also support graduates of the home in their quest to attend college or vocational training. This assistance includes financial support to pay the rising cost of college tuition.

After student loans and scholarships cleared, the Masons paid the rest of Cunning's bill at SIUC. Without this support, she likely would not have been able to continue her education.

"That would have been horrible, hard or just not happened," she said.

adam.testa@thesouthern.com / 351-5031