In the land of the lottery, bingo, video poker machines and riverboat casinos, Eric was king.

But his high-rolling reign came to an abrupt end - finally - when he peered into the looking glass and saw the reflection of a mere mortal, and a broken one at that.

"I looked in the mirror and I had no idea who was looking back at me.

How dark the world got … the fear that entered into my being," he said. "And then there was a moment of clarity. I was going to go into treatment. For once, I was going to do what was suggested. I had never done that before."

Eric's last big gamble was entering treatment at The Fellowship House in Anna and turning his life over to a higher power.

The stakes were high; in fact, life or death was on the line for the compulsive gambler, who following the tradition of his fellowship, did not wish to use his full name.

Let the good times roll

Eric, 44, remembers first experiencing the thrill of gambling when he was only 9 years old.

"A bunch of us were playing penny ante poker at the fairgrounds. When everyone else wanted to quit, I still wanted to play," he said. "Looking back, I think I always had a tendency to become addicted to gambling."

Did he ever.

Fast forward to the years between 1993 and 2003. Thanks to his compulsion to gamble, Eric lost his house, his car, his job. He declared bankruptcy - twice. He spent $75,000 on lottery scratch tickets in nine months, then won $50,000, which he blew in a matter of weeks. He wrote $3,000 worth of bad checks in one 24-hour period and racked up thousands on his credit cards. He prostituted himself for cash.

All told, he lost about $370,000 during his bid to someday break the bank.

"I lost my soul, all my self-worth. The cravings to gamble were overwhelming," he said. "I considered killing myself."

Know when to fold 'em

Eric, who is from Mount Vernon, was in counseling for four years and entered treatment twice before to curb his addiction, but his road to recovery didn't really begin until that August day in 2003 when he entered The Fellowship House.

"They focused on the steps to recovery, and they weren't afraid to talk about a higher power," he said. "There is no cure. My recovery is contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual well-being. If a person wants to recover, they must straighten out spiritually before they can even think about straightening out emotionally and physically."

Eric said figuring out why he gambled was not important.

"If you want to seek out the 'whys,' you're not going to go anywhere. You have to take responsibility for your actions and take action to stay free from that hopelessness," Eric said. "You have to embrace it: I am a compulsive gambler."

Winner takes all

"It is extremely hard for someone to get to the point where they admit the need for help," The Fellowship House Admissions Supervisor Greg Dillard said.

"Denial is a major player, as are shame and guilt. I would like to say we are always very successful, but the truth is gambling addiction is a very serious problem. It's a real struggle, Dillard said. "There is no cure but we can arrest the problem and hopefully minimize or eliminate relapses."

In Southern Illinois, he said, slot machines and video poker, as well as lottery and bingo are the addict's games of choice; however, online gambling is growing in popularity.

And anyone can become addicted, he said.

"In the general adult American population, 2 to 3 percent have a problem with gambling. That number could increase as gambling becomes more socially acceptable and government sponsored, and more people are exposed to it," he said. "Everyone knows the risk is there and the odds are in favor of the house, but people think they can beat the odds. If you play long enough you are going to lose. You just will."

Dillard said The Fellowship House is one of the few resources available locally that offers specialized treatment for gambling addiction. The facility provides outpatient gambling services, telephonic counseling, individual and group counseling as well as help identifying resources in the community such as Gambling Anonymous or financial advisers who can assist clients as they deal with gambling debt.

The Fellowship House is one of fewer than a dozen funded in part by the state's Department of Human Services' Division of Alcoholism and Substance Abuse.

Dillard said he encourages anyone who thinks he or she might have a gambling problem to call The Fellowship House to learn about the resources available in Southern Illinois.

Eric said he believes anyone who wants to get help can overcome the addiction.

"But you've got to believe there is light, or you won't go through the tunnel," he said. "You've got to be willing to crack the door just a hair. God will open it the rest of the way."

beckymalk@gmail.com / 927-5633

PHONE AND ONLINE HELP

l The Fellowship House at 833-4465

l National Council on Problem Gambling at 800) 522-4700

l Gamblers Anonymous at (888) 424-3577