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To the Editor:

“Ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself.” Those are words of wisdom from singer and lyricist, John Fogerty.

While shopping for lettuce, a young man approached me. Unlike me, who shops for genetically altered produce, he had been shopping in the organic veggie area. Wearing flip-flops, a colorful T-shirt, camouflage shorts and a gray stocking cap, he glared at and pointed to my ball cap.

Because my hair looked unkempt from having worked in the yard, I had covered my noggin with my new ball cap. It’s a nice black cap, with large golden emblazed letters that read NRA.

“Do you know what your cap represents?” he demanded to know, while wearing a smirk of virtuous indignation. “Yes,” I replied, “it represents the last gift that someone really close-and-dear gave me.”

Taken aback, he retreated toward the organic vegetables, while mumbling something about “I didn’t know.”

As to that someone “really close-and-dear to me,” it’s me. And the next present from myself to me will be a new carbon-fiber kayak paddle. I’m holding my breath that no one will be offended.

Gus Maroscher


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